I was gifted this reading by Ken Wilbur of a chapter in Douglas Harding’s book. It arrived moments after I did as we awoke out of one year and into another. It was the first mail my sleepy eyes reached and came from my friend Suzanne in Seattle. “Having no head – a pointing out exercise” the title of her email read.
“It’s what 2014 feels like,” I said to myself. ” It’s got it’s name, but it has no head.” I looked over at Jeff’s sleeping head on the pillow next to mine and did not allow myself to go there…
I listened to Ken’s drawl, scraping out the words in his heartfelt way. I heard his emotions choking over the love bits. I felt my brain feeling…
“How to go headless?” I asked myself after listening to this reading the 20th time. This is more scary than saying “I’m sorry” instead of “you’re not the boss of me!”
I looked up into the Cape Town sky and waited for it to turn into a big blue pancake.
I waited for it to fall on my shoulders, where normally a penetrating head sits.
I thought of Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, who describes this as the feeling of enlightenment.
None of it helped. My head has refused to give up its position. “I like it here” it says. “You need me more than you need a blue pancake.”
So this is my New Year’s resolution: To practice driving with the rooftop down and topless, then allow myself to taste the sky, drink the ocean and eat the earth. Any joiners? Let’s hope the rain does not shrink my shoulders!