“Letting the light shine through” was the headline in the front page of this morning’s  New York Times
“Shimmering on satin or seeping through chiffon” – is apparently the message from Milan’s 2012 season.  “All about light” it proclaims, that world on the other side of the catwalk.

I dont normally peruse the fashion section of the Times, but this  headline caught my attention as I waded through the wars and conflicts crouching behind the corruption charges and bank bongos in today’s headlines. That’s what you do at 3am when the fears begin to scratch at the insides of the eyelids.

That’s what I do when I lie in bed thinking softly of my mom propped up on her reclining chair, holding court in Ward 10a with her loving family around her. She’s calling herself Lady Gaga. She doesn’t know who Lady Gaga is, but she likes the sound of how crazy she is.

Three weeks ago she was dashing around the waterfront shopping mall, buying a new wireless keyboard – the latest must-have in her insatiable passion for anything technological. Last night she passed out on a walk to the toilet. She could not face another bed pan she announced humming “get me to the church in time”, her hospital gown open at the back for all to see.

If there is any legacy she is going to leave us, it’s never to stop being at least half-mad. Let the darn light shine through! Nothing is too serious to die over, even death itself. Her dream right now she says, is to wash her hair. A few weeks ago she was panting over a sports car that hurled past my Honda on the highway.

Tomorrow night is Rosh Hashana, the beginning of a new year. We’ll do her up, unwashed hair and all, her hospital gown shimmering satin and seeping-through chiffon. We’ll do it  the Ward Way –  apples and honey; oxygen on offer.  This night of nights, we’ll do it Her Way –  letting the light shine through no matter what.